Funneling, crap.

Today was another ultrasound. At the last one they couldn't see Max's face, and a side effect of a medicine I take is clef pallet, so we were so happy to see that his little face is perfect!!! He's measuring bigger than his due date so that's nice too. But for the bad news... I'm funneling. I'm not sure if it's all the way to the cerclage yet, I wont see my doc. till Wed. But I know woman can still go full term with funneling, especially with my handy dandy cerclage. Btw, my cervix measured about 2.9. I was happy with that. So bed rest it is.

When the tech was looking at his lips and nose, Max kept boxing at her. He's so awesome. Haha. I love that little man so much. Oh, and he is all MAN.

Thanks for all the prayers, and please keep them coming. Love to you all!!

Bed Rest

So yesterday I was having tons of BHs. and then a lot of pressure. So this morning, right before some wonderful Nelsons Chicken..It feels like there is a bowling ball sitting on my cervix and tearing out my cerclage. So needless to say, 2 hours, google, and a non answering nurse on call, later, my mom and I were sitting in L&D at the hospital. In the 5ish hours I was there, my doctor delivered two babies and did a surgery. (I had written a post about him before..Bad Dr. And he reprieved himself today) So, after a very very painful exam, I knew something was wrong. He had to go out and "check some things" after he did my (extremely painful) exam, but when he came back I was just told that I need to greatly reduce my activity. Well you see. I do nothing. Absolutely nothing. So bed rest it is then. Maximus is still kicking away and healthy, that's so wonderful. But now I just need my cervix to hold for at LEAST another 8 weeksish please.
Thanks for all your prayers!!
Happy Fathers day to all you men out there!
<3


Thanks to Cara's Mommy over at Angel Baby Names for this beautiful picture for Miah.

Updates and Rants

I have not written for a while, but I sure have been reading. It may be good that I've had nothing to write about, just letting Max grow. On Saturday Dustin and I got his travel system. I think I could pass a test on travel systems right now, I've read so much on them. Everything is going wonderful, and at the same time, everything is really hard. The worst of all, money. I hate money. I truly do. I would love to live in a society where I grow you a potato and you cook me some bread and at the end of the day I give you some potatoes for some bread. Makes sense huh. The travel system is the only thing we have gotten for him. (Some wonderful people have given us some adorable clothes) The other hard thing is space, and space is connected to stupid money. Right now I'm living at home with my mom, sister, and nephew. I share a room with my sister and nephew. So when Max gets here, I will take my moms room, and she will sleep with my sister and nephew. It's hard and frustrating. If I were able to work right now, Dustin and I could afford our own place, but I can't work, so no place for us. But Max is doing great. My cervix are getting checked on the 21st, and we should get to see his face then. (the last u/s he wouldn't let us see his face, he showed his penis nice and clear, but no face) And the only side effect of a medication I am on is clef lip so that's even more of a reason to be happy to get so see his face. Did I tell you guys we picked out a name. Maximus. And either Jude or James for his middle name. =)

How far along: 23 weeks 5 days(going by 10/6 edd)
Weight gain: I first lost 20 pounds, I've gained back 2.
Stretch marks: I've had some, now I'm getting them on my sides.
Symptoms: I'm still pretty tired. But that's all!!
Sleep: Sleep? Maybe that's why I'm tired. It's so stinkin hot. We have no A/C or fans. and too much body heat, and it's hard to get comfy. Ugh. So sleep..hmm.. I'll get back to ya.
Best Moment this Week: My mom, Hayden, and Dustin have now all felt and seen Max move. The other night I was pressing a little where he was pushing out at and I could feel him perfectly, like his actual little body. And now if I lay on one side and he goes that way, when I sit up you can see where he is.
Food Cravings: Popsicles, popcorn, CHICKEN!!
Labor Signs: some BH
Belly Button in or out?: In, but it's never been so shallow.
Movement: He moves so so so much. So far I've had nurses tell me to get ready, and Doctors that have called him a movie and a shaker. =)
Milestones: Well, Max is now about 5 weeks older than Miah will ever be.


Eventually I will post pictures of my growing belly. Someday.

Hospital Scare

I've craved Olive Garden for a very long time. The last time I asked Dustin to take me, he broke his key in half in his car door, so we didn't get to go. Then last night I asked him to take me today. And his car battery dies. We get it charged, make it there, and have wonderful taste buds delight!! Max was doing flips in my belly, I can already tell he's a fan. So after an hour of eating and letting it digest and trying to stuff down more, we leave.(TMI alert!!) On our way out I stop to go pee, and as I wipe, brown mucusy discharge. Tears stream on down. I use Dustins phone to find the doctors number, call, talk to nurse, and as we start driving back to town from Elkhart, his phone almost dies. But it holds out for the nurse to call me back and tell me to head to L&D right away. Ugh. PANIC MODE. It seems like everyone is driving half of the speed limit. So it takes us almost an hour to get from Olive Garden to the hospital. When Dustin and I get up there they are already waiting for us, I get put on monitors, and Max kicks the monitor constantly. That's the only thing that made it easier/better. As two different nurses try and monitor his heartbeat, he lets you listen to it for a while, then kicks repeatedly at the monitor itself. Hard enough causing it to move. DR comes in and checks my cerclage, turns out that there is tissue around one of the holes from the stitch that is inflamed and rough, and that's what's causing the spotting. Giant sighs of relief and praises. So so wonderful to be preparing for the worse and all that happens is you get two nurses to call your unborn baby boy a booger already. =) it was nice to hear him move so much, I can feel him all the time, but nice to hear it.
Thank you all for the prayers!! and please keep them coming!
love you all!
jamie

Team Blue

I've been able to hold boys since I lost my beautiful Miah, but I still haven't held a girl. For the first 4 months I felt like my bubbles was a boy, but I didn't know for sure. After my cerclage I started getting more excited about being pregnant, still extremely bittersweet.
Today was my big ultrasound. I told my lady that I really wanted to know the gender, and she was amazing!! The U/S took over an hour, she was so thorough and kind. While she was measuring the thigh bone, we heard there is the scrotum *pause* me, my mom, and Dustin all squealed in unison. She laughed, it was a wonderful moment.
My little man is sure a mover and a shaker. His hands kept covering his face, he would wave a lot, and move and flip and have hiccups. So wonderful. The best part... Everything was perfect!! That's the most I could ask for. I am the most excited I've been so far through this pregnancy now. I'm not worried as much, I have a special peace. My cerclage is holding strong and my cervix look amazing. (as cervixs go)
Thanks again for all the prayers!! You all are incredibly wonderful!!
you can vote on boys names at http://www.babynames.com/namelist/9759620
love you all!!
-jamie and bubbles

19 weeks and random survey. =)

Today Bubbles and I are 19 weeks pregnant.
Every day is a milestone now that I'm passed the age Miah was.
My sister has strep throat, so I spent the night at Dustins twice and on the couch once. There is no way I'm going to share a room with a lady with strep throat. I can't wait to find out Bubbles gender next Tuesday. Dustin and I are doing better also, we still have a lot to go through. Thanks again for all your prayers!! And please keep them coming!
Love you all lots!
jamie and bubbles


This survey thing was on baby center last night, so I thought I would share.

A - Age: 20
B - Bed size: Twin
C - Chore you hate: Dishes
D - Dog's name: Marley and Abby
E - Essential start your day item: Potty =)
F - Favorite color: lilac
G - Gold or Silver: silver
H - Height: 5'6"
I - I am: an individual
J - Job: nothing at the moment. =/
K - Kids: Beautiful Miah in Heaven, and baby on the way.
L - Living arrangements: Tiny house with my mom, sister, and nephew.
M - Mom's name: Paula
N - Nicknames: Jamie Jane
O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: nope.
P - Pet Peeve: grouchy people. my mom changing the channels to slowly.
Q - Quote from a movie:? we are the makers of music, we are the dreamers of dreams. -Willy Wonka
R - Right or left handed: right
S - Siblings: sister
T - Time you wake up: 1pm ish.
U- Underwear: comfy ones that fit right now.
V - Vegetable you dislike: I'm not to big on carrots.
W - Ways you run late: I hate being late. So I hardly ever am.
X - X-rays you've had: lots, teeth, thumb, wrist, chest.
Y - Yummy food you make: chicken, mashedpotatoes, meatloaf, chili, lots more.
Z - Zoo favorite: goats

tears of rage

So 9 months ago tonight (on a Friday also) is when I went to the ER for bleeding. And 9 months ago tomorrow (Saturday Aug. 1st 2009) is when my beautiful Miah Anne passed away. Now tonight, I'm pregnant with a baby that is the exact age she was on the same day. 9 months apart. Dustin wasn't there for me then, why should I have expected anything different from him tonight. It's going to be a hard one. It already is.

Tears of Rage - The Band

Tears of rage, tears of grief

Why must I always be the thief?

Come to me now, you know we're so low

And life is brief